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Our Latest Reviews
Bacon BBQ Burger Party Platter (Serves 10))
Bacon BBQ is super delicious, Bacon is crispy, burger is juicy and ambience is unbeatable.
Classic MilkShake
This is the best milkshake I've ever had. It is super thick and worth every penny!
Soup
A nice chowder that makes me nostalgic for childhood rainy days. Goes great with the oyster crackers.
Onion Rings
A solid and crispy classic.
Fries
Classic fries. Always crispy, always reliable, always needed. If your burger is big enough, they become loaded fries.
Johnny Cash
A Visit to Mr. Bartley's Burger Cottage: A Culinary Adventure in Harvard Square Before I made my way to AEW at MGM Music Hall, I found myself with a precious 90 minutes to spare. My mission? To hunt down the legendary Mr. Bartley's Burger Cottage in Harvard Square, a holy grail for burger lovers, immortalized by the burger bard himself, George Motz, in his magnum opus, Hamburger America. This joint, a pilgrimage for culinary wayfarers, was calling my name like a siren luring sailors to their fate, and I wasn't about to let a little thing like time stand in my way. Walking into Mr. Bartley's felt like stepping into a madcap gallery of Americana---a kaleidoscope of colors, sounds, and smells. The walls were plastered with all sorts of knickknacks, each one a testament to the quirky charm of the place. There were vintage posters, bizarre memorabilia, and enough random artifacts to make an antique shop owner weep with envy. I half-expected to see a neon sign flicker to life and start reciting poetry. The staff didn't bat an eye at my camera; they welcomed it, almost as if I was a long-lost friend returning from an absurd journey. It's a rarity in this world to find a place that encourages you to snap away like a paparazzo hunting down the latest scandal. As I settled in, the atmosphere buzzed with the energy of eager patrons, each one a fellow pilgrim in this burger temple. I felt the pulse of the place---the laughter, the clinking of glasses, the sizzling of patties on the grill. It was a symphony of indulgence and camaraderie, and I couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement. I kicked off my meal with the Purple Cow Milkshake---a wild concoction of vanilla ice cream and grape soda, topped with whipped cream and purple sprinkles. This milkshake is a striking violet, a color that feels delightfully out of place in a burger joint. It's a bold choice, and I appreciated that they saved it for a milkshake; after all, who wants a purple burger? Unless you're creating some Elvis-inspired monstrosity with jelly, the color purple belongs in a glass, not on a bun. Taking my first sip was like being transported back to childhood, where the biggest worries involved riding bikes and chasing ice cream trucks. This shake was creamy, sweet, and unapologetically vibrant, a delightful blend that made me forget about the world outside. It was a moment of pure joy, and I savored every sip as if it were a fine wine. Next, I dove into the meat of the matter: the burgers. I couldn't resist the Joe Bartley Burger, the original classic, but lo and behold---when it arrived, it was just a slab of meat and cheese, a shadow of what it could have been, devoid of the promised lettuce and tomato. A cruel oversight, indeed! But I forgave it because, hell, the aroma was intoxicating. The grease and cheese mingled in the air, whispering sweet nothings that made my mouth water like a starving artist in a flea-ridden dive bar. Despite the initial disappointment, I took a hearty bite, and the flavors danced on my tongue like a jazz band in full swing. The beef was juicy, perfectly seasoned, and cooked just right. I could taste the passion in every bite---a testament to the years of dedication poured into perfecting the art of the hamburger. It was messy, it was glorious, and it was everything I had hoped for, even without the toppings. I could feel the grease drip down my fingers, a badge of honor in this burger battle. Then came the Johnny Cash Ring of Fire Burger---a fiery beast that boasted habanero and ghost pepper cheese, bacon, jalapenos, crispy onions, and a drizzle of ranch dressing. I ordered it because I had just returned from Tennessee, where I paid homage to the Man in Black at his museum. This burger was a tribute to that spirit---spicy, bold, and impossible to ignore. It packed a punch that had me questioning my life choices and savoring every fiery bite. Each mouthful was like a love letter to those who dare to live on the edge, reminding me that sometimes, you have to risk a little heat for the sake of flavor. As I devoured these culinary creations, I couldn't help but admire the craftsmanship. The burger patties were perfectly sized---not the gargantuan monstrosities that turn meals into endurance tests. Instead, they were a reminder of what a burger should be: a beautiful balance of flavor and texture, not a gluttonous challenge that leaves you questioning your sanity. Here, it felt like fine dining, where quality was the king, and every bite was a celebration of taste. I appreciated that I could enjoy two burgers without feeling like I was about to burst---an experience that transformed a simple meal into a delightful escapade. The menu at Mr. Bartley's is a treasure trove of creativity, boasting combinations that would make a food critic weep with joy. There's the Big Mock Burger, a double patty slathered in American cheese, shredded lettuce, pickles, raw onion, and their special sauce---a concoction that could make even the most jaded soul swoon. The Conspiracy Theory Burger is another masterpiece, featuring blue cheese, grilled onions, crumbled bacon, and habanero bacon jam. It's as if they took the idea of a burger and threw it into a blender with all the best flavors of the universe, resulting in a glorious explosion of taste. And don't overlook the Hallouminati Burger, a delightful riff with fried halloumi cheese, applewood smoked bacon, tomato, red onion, and a drizzle of house hot honey---a combination that dances on the palate like a secret society of flavors. As I nibbled on the remnants of my meal, I contemplated the total bill---around $57, including a tip that had me pondering the price of paradise in such an upscale locale. Sure, it's Harvard territory, where the money flows like wine, but damn if the food didn't justify the splurge. The rich patrons may have deep pockets, but I didn't mind spending a little extra for a taste of excellence. After all, the experience was worth every penny. In the end, my time at Mr. Bartley's was a delightful chaos---an exhilarating whirlwind of flavors, laughter, and a touch of nostalgia. I left wishing I had more time to explore their other outrageous offerings. This was more than just a meal; it was an experience steeped in history, tradition, and a love for the art of the burger. Mr. Bartley's isn't just a burger joint; it's a love letter to the American spirit, a celebration of the humble hamburger perfected over decades. And despite the clock ticking down, I still managed to make it to my show about half an hour early. The only hiccup in my time management skills was the goddamn Boston rush-hour traffic, a beast of its own that makes even the most patient souls want to pull their hair out. But that's a battle for another day. If you find yourself in Harvard Square, do yourself a favor---stop by, order a burger, and let the flavors take you on a wild ride. You won't regret it; you'll leave with a full belly and a smile on your face, pondering the mysteries of life, love, and why you didn't come here sooner. In the world of burgers, Mr. Bartley's reigns supreme, and I, for one, am ready to return and dive into the delicious madness all over again.
Build a Burger
Nothing like the opportunity to exercise a little creativity. After years of sampling Bartley's finest, I came up with my custom order: a double burger with cheddar and boursin, grilled onions, tomato, and their insanely delicious basil pesto mac & cheese. Too big for just a toothpick, so it comes with a spoon stuck through. Now that's what I call a burger!
Fried Pickles
My friend always gets these at Bartley's, and I always steal them. Where else can you get fried pickles this crispy AND tart?
Sweet Potato Fries
Fresh-tasting and flavorful, these make a great choice for someone who wants a side that can stand on its own. Lighter-feeling than the regular fries, but no less satisfying.
Big Mock
In a word: substantial. If you're craving the classic burger experience with full explosion of flavors, taken up to the next level, look to the Big Mock. Well-dressed in a rich, tangy sauce.
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